Showing posts with label free Friday. Show all posts

Freedom

Today I took a trip to the DMV (the Department of Motor Vehicles, for my international friends): where the lines are as long as Disneyland, but it's definitely NOT the happiest place on earth. The reason why people wait in these lines, though, is because transportation means freedom. It means going where you want and when you want. The "end" of being able to drive definitely justifies the "means" and the hoards of people, even if you have to wait for hours (pro tip: register for an appointment online. I noted the person who would have been in front of me in line, had I not secured an appointment. I was in and out before she got to the front door of the building.)

Just as the ability to move and go places is a manifestation of freedom, so is the ability to not move when you don't want to- any Tourette Syndrome, Huntington's, or Parkinson's patient will tell you that. Because freedom isn't limited to movement, but to one's will. The will to do or not do what you want or don't want. The will to make choices and get results.

But sometimes our will leads to imprisonment, not freedom. What happens if we are bent on getting our way and don't? We wanted good health for ourselves, parents, and children, but we got sickness instead. We want to call someone into account for a wrong, real or perceived, and no one got what they deserve. We wanted- not even a good job, but enough to get by- and we got laid off. We wanted so much for this broken relationship to mend, but it slips away by the day.

A person's will can be like wood or like bamboo. Wood is strong and unyielding, but it will break. Bamboo is also strong, but it will give and bend. A wooden will that is obstinate leads to disappointment, heartbreak, and grudges against others and against God.

On the other hand, a bamboo will possesses a different kind of strength: the strength to adapt and change while still staying rooted. It is a flexible sort of steadfastness. Sometimes the way to grasp freedom is to live life with an open hand. Sometimes the way to gain life is to lose it.

Empty

I walked two miles in the rain to complete the Easter service ritual. I was tempted to feel as empty as my pew, the only one with a sole congregant in the packed sanctuary.

Easter is kind of funny because it's the only time when we celebrate emptiness. But God loves doing stuff like that. He takes our emptiness, sadness, and sorrow and transforms it all. He redeems. He gives us a reason to celebrate. We can rejoice in spite (and maybe because) of what we lack- because we have gained so much more. That's what Christianity is about.

It’s about how we didn’t know how lost we were until he found us. How we didn’t realize how deadened to him we were until he gave us life. It’s about how while we were not merely unlovable, but downright repulsive- that God Himself came to us and engaged with us. He became like us. He lived like us. But he didn’t die like us.

Just as through one man’s sin, death entered into the world, so, too, through one man’s death, death’s power and sting were overcome. For Christ wasn’t just any man, but a priest. Not just the high priest, but the great high priest, the Son of God, merciful and faithful in the service to God and helper to the offspring of Abraham. For our high priest has passed through both heaven and hell. He is not unable to sympathize with us in our weaknesses, but in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

The sinless Christ suffered and died and experienced the wrath of God so that those who place their hope in Him will not have to. Now, though we suffer and bear our crosses and, yes, even die, that empty tomb means so much for us. We have faith in its power, and that power is now our inheritance. We believe that which Christ has started, He will bring to completion. Two miles in the rain is a short journey compared to our sojourn through this life, and the average 78.7 years is miniscule compared to eternity. A ritual is not just a series of motions, but is a demonstration of hope for the future. We know this hope does not disappoint because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit he has given to us. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. So now these remain: faith, hope, and love. The grass will wither, and the flowers fall, but the Word who became flesh lasts forever. This is the symbol of the empty tomb.

This is our assurance; thanks be to God. Now we may go in His peace.

In which posters remind me about eternity

I guess this is talk-about-my-party week. My roommate and I had a number of people over for a game night/ birthday shindig, and in the process of cleaning the apartment, I decided to finally put my posters up. I originally forwent putting posters up because I absolutely hated my apartment. Having a piece of myself bound to the walls of my apartment was the last thing I wanted. However, time progressed, and I came to terms with living here, and it was the least I could do to spruce my room up.

A quick cell phone snapshot I took right before it came crashing down.

I swear these walls are coated with ACME anti-stick.

From the second I put my posters up, it was like a sadistic game of whack-a-mole. One would fall down, and I would tape it up again. Then another would fall down, and I would fix that one. Then I would leave the room for two seconds and hear a *thud* as two more fell down. I used more double-stick poster tape. I used different kinds of double-stick poster tape. I used single-sided tape.

This continued for a good half a day before I gave up.

It's weird how much effort I put into a handful of posters.

I wanted to make my mark. I quite literally, wanted it to stick. It didn't, and it frustrated me.

But how long would I be in that apartment? A few years at most? What is the true importance of a few posters? None at all.

Sometimes I wonder if we have too many posters in our lives. Too many things that aren't working, but are giving us the runaround. Too many things that don't really matter but are sucking up our time and energy. I was humbled when I remembered that it's Lent, and I haven't really been thinking much about the cross. I was preoccupied with the party, and getting the cake, and putting up posters. How silly.

We lose sight so easily, don't we?

What are your posters? How do you identify or avoid them?

A Priestly Community

Last Sunday, we had a guest speaker at church who spoke on community. Community is three things, he told us: unlikely (given its diversity), priestly (given 1 Peter 2), and hopeful (given the incredibly joy we have in the present and the incredible promise for the future.)

It has been my experience that the "priestly" factor is the one people find the hardest. However unlikely the alliance, people (for the most part) usually have no trouble uniting under Christ. Or at least the idea of Christ. And even if it's difficult in practice sometimes, you usually don't have to go around convincing Christians that there's hope in Christ.

However, priests? People balk at the word. Isn't that an Old Testament thing? Minister to one another? Why would I do that? That's why we have ministers, to minster to us. "I go to church to get ministered to, by the pastor. I don't want you ministering to me, and I'm sure as heck not going to minister to you." is often the mindset.

But I don't see any way around it. First, the Bible says so, so you're kind of stuck. Second, there are a ton of verses in the Bible that say how we are to treat one another. Collectively, they are called *surprise!* the "One Anothers." Again, it's in the Bible, so you're kind of stuck. Third, if we are truly unified in Christ and if we truly have hope in Him, why wouldn't we minister to each other? It seems silly not to. Fourth, some may shy away from ministering because they feel they are not properly equipped and they leave it "for someone else." Yes, sometimes there are extreme situations which will require a professional, perhaps the pastor or a Biblical counselor. However, your friend won't be living life with a pastor or a Biblical counselor. Your friend is living life with YOU. And YOU have the Gospel.

I mentioned on Wednesday that I would explain why my post was late. All my meaningful relationships are ones in which others minister to me, and I minister to them. It's quite beautiful, really, and I cherish those relationships a lot. However, ministry also takes a lot of time and energy. Some weeks, I need to be ministered to. Some weeks other people need to be ministered to. Still other weeks, a ton of people need ministering to. This was one of those weeks. And that's fine. In fact, that's great- not that I had friends who were suffering, but that in ministering to them I was able to point them back towards Christ, the Great High Priest who started all of this in the first place.

Do you regularly minister to people in your life? Do you find yourself being ministered to? What steps can we take as Christians to move from casual relationships to ministry and discipleship?

5 things I want my kids to know about God

I read this blog post the other day and thought I would use the idea (the sincerest form of flattery). Also, today's "free Friday" is a bit shorter because I'm writing a paper and typing has gotten physically painful in my knuckles to the point that I think I might have early onset arthritis :/ Anywho...

Five things I want my kids to know about God

1. He's a Person, like with feelings and emotions and stuff. He feels things like anger, sadness, and joy. We like to think of God as entirely separate from us, and of course- he is, but at the same time, he reacts to things that we do. He feels, and I think that's really important.

2. The immensity of Him. We call this His glory. This is tied inexplicably with his holiness. The part of him that's not like us, the part that makes him Other. The part we can't explain except to say what he's not.

3. He's in control, even when things don't seem like He is. Even when things kind of suck sometimes. Which leads to...

4. He's good. When we can't see the good in our circumstances, the problem is with our sight and not with our circumstances. Yes, God's in control, and it's a good thing He's in control because He is good and the thing He controls will work out for good.

5. Only five? This is super tough, but I'd have to say that God pursues us. If God is good, then our best good is to be with Him. This doesn't happen a lot of the time, and it certainly doesn't happen from the beginning. While He is Other, He gave up that immensity to become like us. The person of God was made manifest in the person of Christ. There is a gap between us and God because He is so Other, and without Christ, we would have fallen in that gap. But because God feels, and one of those feelings is love, Christ bridged that gap for us. While this one-time act allows all of humanity that accepts it to bridge the gap, God's act of pursuit did not stop there. Instead, he pursues us daily.

What are five things you would want your kids to know about God?

Rummaging

Photographer: smohundro of flickr under CC2.0, and this is released under a similar CC3.0 license.

Based on a true story

Sometimes I wonder if bloggers make up scenarios to put on their blogs. I see the blogging platform more as a type of memoir than a strict biography, unless the author represents it as such. (Although, if you're wondering, I really do have TS, I really did almost get run over (twice), and today's comic really happened as stated.)

Parables make it easy to miss the point sometimes

It's not particularly profound, but I think it's important. When we look for stuff, we're looking because we need something. Even with the shepherd metaphor that we use so much, I'd imagine that the guy wasn't altogether altruistic. Wouldn't he lose his job or get a pay cut or something if he just let sheep wander off? These are parables, to show us what God is like...but different. It reminds me of when the kids and Puddleglum were trying to convince the witch (and to an extent, themselves) about the world outside the cave: Aslan - he's a lion,which is a cat, but not a cat; it's bigger! And totally not like a cat at all...

Good News

God didn't need us. And yet he searches for us, and earnestly- like when you need that last quarter so you can do that final load of laundry. But even though He didn't need us (we're worthless, really), He considers us much more important than a quarter. Much more than a sparrow or a lily, even. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us. He has given us eternal life, and that life is in His Son. This can't be described as anything but good news!

Humility

Now, this isn't the time to get self-congratulatory. We're unspeakably blessed, but we're not particularly special. Not in and of ourselves. There is no room to boast: of works, of faith, or of being "chosen." This is no time to stand in the temple and thank God that I'm not a thief or a swindler...or a Pharisee.

The whole redemption situation is quite shameful, really. The cross is a horrible, twisted place- a testament to our utter failure at the self-sufficiency we so much clamor for. But it's also where we find our glory.

The Rational Economic Actor (2)

A Parable

One's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.

The old rich man said to himself, "Soul, you have amassed much for yourself in many years. Relax and enjoy!" That night, he lay down to a deep and happy sleep, dreaming of another garage for his cars and a larger house with a white fence for his family to enjoy.

But before the man awoke, God said to him, "Child of dust, this night your soul will be required of you."

Vapor

(bdebaca of flickr, CC2.0.)

Francis Chan spoke at my high school once. He showed us a spray bottle and pulled the trigger a few times. "You see that?" We saw a white mist for a second, maybe a second and a half before it disappeared into the air. "That's you." *spray* "There you went. Let me do it again, because it was too quick the first time."

*spray*

"There. You're gone."

Treasure

Do not store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.

Which one of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost?

"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

Bursting the Bubble of Worry

Lawyers and Shrinks

Today's story comes from the dark, scary world of BIGLAW. What's BIGLAW, you ask? BIGLAW firms are the "Goliath National Banks" of the law firm world, the "Big Bad," the "Dementors" that suck out whatever's left of a person's soul after three years of law school. The People's Therapist is a blog by a former BIGLAW lawyer-turned-psychotherapist for lawyers because, let's face it, lawyers can use a good dose of psychotherapy after being crushed by the system.

The Bubble of Worry

The People's Therapist gave a few anecdotes about BIGLAW:
- Someone who, after working the entire weekend and coming in early on Monday to finish a memo, broke down after receiving a call from her 92-yr-old grandmother (who she hadn't seen in a year) an hour before the deadline
- Someone who took an extended weekend to rush his mother with a perforated appendix to the hospital and kept her hospital bracelet for proof that the emergency actually happened
- The need to go outside and look at trees just to remember that there is an "outside" and that trees exist.

He gives a list of things that lawyers worry about, the bubble of worry that they live in. But I'm not entirely certain that these are special to lawyers. In fact, I'm sure they aren't because I can name non-lawyers plagued with the same problems.

* Two hundred thousand dollars in student loans is within the normal range.
* You have to earn six figures or you are a failure.
* You can’t take a vacation just because you “have” a vacation. It must be “convenient.”
* Leaving the office at 5 pm shows a serious failure of commitment.
* Taking a weekend off shows a serious failure of commitment.
* Working night and day and doing your best shows a serious failure of commitment.

What's your bubble? What is your cage? What do you worry about? Do you feel like a failure and can't meet expectations? What have you forgotten or pushed aside?

Remember who you are

Confession: I can't see this phrase without hearing Ghost Mufasa from The Lion King say it in my head, but that's beside the point. The advice that The People's Therapist gives is to remember who you are. Remember your priorities. Remember that people matter and that you matter. Remember to visit the people you care about. Remember that trees exist.

The Gospel: A Step Further

This is great (humanist) advice, but let me go a step further. Who are you? If you're a Christian, you're a child of God. You have been bought at a price. You are no longer a slave to sin, a slave to your job, a slave to your worry, a slave to your bubble or to your cage or expectations and deadlines: you are a slave of Christ, and weirdly enough, being a slave to Christ means that "for freedom you have been set free." Yes, there's a yoke, but his yoke is easy and his burden is light, and all who are weary and downtrodden can cast their burdens on him, and he will give them rest.

Not only that, but if you have fellowship with Christ and abide in Christ, you will find that there are lots of brothers and sisters also abiding in Christ. If they abide in Christ, and you abide in Christ- guess what- you all abide in each other, too. Just as you can lay your burdens on Christ, you can lay your burdens on your brothers and sisters, and you can carry their burdens as well. Fellowship is a beautiful thing, and if you don't believe me, spend some time in 1 John.

The Solution

If (when) you are busy and you are stressed and you feel that the world is against you: remember who you are. You are a child of God and a sibling of other believers. When you are busy and stressed, go to God. Go to church. Go to small group. Remember who you are, and surround yourself with people who can remind you who you are.

What if you feel you're simply too busy and stressed to go to God or go to church? Stress and worry and busyness are indicators that you need to go to God all the more. If your life is too crazy to accommodate what is important, The People's Therapist has something to say about that as well:

If things get that bad...you can leave. To [expletive] with loans and “career” and all that. If this place is killing you, you can depart...If this environment is toxic for you, you need to get out.

I've talked about how my Sunday school was wrong, but there's one thing that has always stuck with me. It made sense to 10-yr-old me, and it makes sense now, but don't you dare let the adult in you rationalize it away:

If you're too busy for God, you're too busy.

What's your trajectory?

As I mentioned earlier, I decided to camp out in 1 John for awhile, and the experience has been really rewarding.

John has this really frank way of talking that kicks you down and picks you up again, kind of like a good friend.

Check out what he has to say in 1 John 3:4-10:

No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him.

Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning.

No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.

By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

See, just as we are always worshiping something, we are also always practicing something. So what are we practicing?

All about trajectory

Practice may make perfect, but practice does not mean perfection. Earlier in the chapter John states "what we will be has not yet appeared." We are not yet perfect. We are still broken sinners with dusty, frail frames. We will make mistakes, but what are we practicing? Where is our trajectory? Are we practicing righteousness, finding ways to grow in our relationship with God and in our relationships with others? Or are we practicing sin and lawlessness?

Are we perfecting the art of loving and serving God and others? Or are we perfecting the art of burying and explaining away our sin? We will become experts at what we practice.

A sobering reminder

John has some pretty strong words about those who practice sin. Those who practice sin are lawless and are of the devil and are not born of God. Ouch. And PS you have to love your brother, too. Double ouch. John wants us to step back and evaluate ourselves. Where is our trajectory? What is our goal? This isn't about a person losing their salvation, but if someone consistently sins and makes a practice of it, maybe he or she wasn't saved to begin with. And even for the believer whose salvation is sure- now is a good time to stop and check my heart.

Hope for the believer

Given that warning, sometimes my lack of perceptible progress discourages me. Why am I like this? Why can't I get it together? But John gives me reason to hope. The one who has "God's seed" that "abides in him" cannot keep sinning. John states this unequivocally. He cannot. Why? He has been born of God. Whatever we struggle with in this life, we will overcome. As Paul states elsewhere: Who will save me from this body of sin and death? Praise to Jesus Christ who gives me the victory.

Summing Up the Week

First, I would like to clarify two things:

1) As a blogger, a little snark can be warranted and funny. As a woman, however, sometimes snark comes at the expense of cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit (and a general sense of humility, which is applicable to both men and women). I would like to apologize for my heart attitude. While I steadfastly remain under the authority of the Bible and of the local church (though I am still looking for one at the moment), when I see departures from Biblically-mandated gender roles, it is very easy for me to become defensive, particularly when those departures are then, in turn, imposed on me personally.

Unfortunately, during those times, I am no longer fighting for the Bible, but I am fighting for myself in guise of the Bible. Some of my commentary fell in this vein. This is not acceptable behavior for any Christian, and I apologize for subjecting you, the reader, to my sin.

2) For any new readers, please know that I do not always talk about gender issues. In fact, I believe that this week marks the first time I touched on the topic. It just sort of happened to turn out that way as a result of some people I met. I know that saying "never" is practically an open invitation to God to mess up your plans, but tentatively I think I can safely say that this will never be a gender blog or a womens' blog. Tentatively. It is my view that biblical manhood and biblical womanhood share far more in common than they differ. (See Wednesday's post.) It is the similarities that I plan to dwell on.

That being said:

1) How do you feel about gender roles? How much is a social construct? How much is biological? Biblical? (Please keep in mind that comments should be civil, direct attacks are disallowed, and trolls will be axed at my discretion.)
2) What issue(s) do you get riled up about? When it pops up, how do you respond? Is your response (biblically) justified?

In other news:

I have succumbed to the Twitterverse. You may follow me on Jo_of_TSN, and I also provided a button in the sidebar for easy click-age. Also, if a particular post makes an impression on you (for better or worse) and you would like to share the content with others, I added a nifty gadget at the end of each post to help you do so.

The Kingdom of Sin: A Parable

Dear Self,

I hate to break it to you, but you didn't "fall into" sin. Yes, the devil is like a prowling lion waiting to devour, but he's not Wile E. Coyote. He doesn't carry black sin-holes with him and drop them in front of your path, where you have no choice but to fall in.

No, the kingdom of sin is like this: Person walks through a swamp and happens upon a treasure. Person realizes that the treasure is a delight to the eyes and is greatly desirable. Quickly, Person hides the treasure so that no one else may know of it. Indeed, it would be a great disaster if anyone found out. Person obscures it so deep in the bowels of the earth such that none - save God Himself and maybe not even then - may find it.

In joy, Person gathers up jewelery and fine clothing, royal gifts from the king, relationships, dignity, and anything else of value. Person liquidates everything s/he is and everything s/he owns, and after doing so, goes to see the owner of the field. The owner balks, but after much negotiating, Person obtains a deed: "I hereby convey Blackacre and everything on or in it to Person in fee simple absolute."

Person is now the fine owner of a swamp.

And the treasure? A handful of Silly Bandz.

Self, own up to your mistakes and repent. Treasure Christ above all else. And stay away from swamps.

Sincerely,
Your better (but sometimes woefully silent) judgment

Wayne Grudem as a Third Grader?

I should probably say right off the bat that this has absolutely nothing to do with Wayne Grudem and absolutely everything with my not having all the software installed for my mini Tablet yet. When I stepped back and looked at my notes, I realized that it looked like a third-grader (albeit a rather intelligent and biblically-inclined one) scribbled all over it.

That being said, if you recall my post from last week, I decided to memorize 1 John. This has been very rewarding for me. One of the things I like about Bible memorization is that you start to notice patterns in the text. The text above comes from 1 John 1:6 (black), 8 (burgundy), and 10 (navy). As you can see, each statement starts with "if we say," continues with "we [verb clause]," and ends with "and [consequence]." Here are the verses in context.

There are a few things that immediately stick out to me

John (and God) are concerned with the ongoing exercise of our spirituality, our present spirituality, and how we view our past spiritual states.
There is a strong presumption against our holiness.
We tend to lie a lot, and when we do, we are calling God a liar, too.
There is almost a transitive property between God, light, truth, and God's word. Denying one is denying all, but at the same time embracing one is embracing all

This leads to several conclusions

It is imperative to have and maintain a biblical view of God, ourselves, and our sin.
We need to be honest with ourselves and with God
We need to embrace God's word,"the sword of the Spirit," which "is truth." In doing so, we will embrace God's Word, Jesus, who "was God and was with God in the beginning" and the Father because Jesus "and the Father are one."

As an English minor, I'm a big fan of parallelism (are we allowed to have a favorite literary device?), and the structure of John's statements stood out to me.

When you study the Bible, what makes things stick out to you? Word choice? Grammar? (Does this make you decide to use one translation over another?) What sticks out to you from the verses here?

PS Bible arcing is really, really confusing. Do you Bible arc? Use homeletics? Something else?

Spiritual Disciplines

Reading Plans

As I mentioned earlier, I've been a bit all over the place with my spirituality this year, particularly my spiritual disciplines. Getting back on track, I started the M'Cheyne Bible Reading plan and have been fairly consistent since I started. This will be my second time through the Bible- last year I used Biblegateway's OT/ NT plan, but this year I wanted to do something with shorter passages and a bit more variety.

Are you using a Bible reading plan this year? If so, which one, and how did you pick it?

Church Curriculums

On the days that I didn't do the M'Cheyne, I've been going through a church curriculum (to remain unnamed) with my small group. I find it slightly inane. I've been writing my snark in the margins. I considered scanning and posting reasoningwithvampires style, but considering as how someone (sadly) might legitimately find this study helpful, I don't want to discourage anyone or cause anyone to stumble.

The main beef I have with this curriculum is that it 1) assumes that Christians are infantile and 2) contributes to the prolonged infancy of the church. I'm pretty sure that this book repeats messages verbatim from what I was taught in the third grade. Given that this book has been around for 20 years, the copying was probably the other way around, but what I mean to say is that there is very little substance.

On top of that, it presents the material as if it really were talking to third graders. There will be a paragraph of text (not biblical text, mind you, but the author's mindless dribble) , then reading comprehension questions on that paragraph of text (again, like third grade), and then another paragraph identical to the first paragraph giving the answers to the questions.

Really? This is what churches have been using to "grow" for the last twenty years? This actually explains a lot.

Oh, and on top of it all, this book bases itself on a 7-step formula (PS It's not Best Life Now...) I thought we agreed a long time ago that you can't get to God by applying a series of steps or following a formula. I thought relationships were more complicated and beautiful than that. I thought God was a person and not some sort of end-goal.

Does your church use curriculum books? Do you find them beneficial or distracting? How do you think publishers can improve church curriculums?

Bible Memorization

From my blogroll today, I found out that Desiring God has a "Fighter Verses" program, which I never knew/ heard of before. Like many people who grew up in the church, I memorized a lot of Scripture as a child (including 21 full passages as part of a school program), but my memorization waned as an adult. It's something that I've tried to pick up on occasion, but haven't actually followed-through with it.

But, this time around, I have this guide to help me. It makes a lot more sense than what I was trying to do before, so I'll follow-through this time.

I've been wanting to memorize a book, and I'm considering either 1 John or Ephesians. 1 John, because I've already tried to memorize it on a few occasions, it's a good kick-in-you-pants book, and frankly, I could use a good kick-in-my-pants. Ephesians, because I've done two small group studies on it and have heard two church sermon series on it. It's a book with which I'm incredibly familiar, and I already have a few major passages (most of chapter 5, all of chapter 6) memorized from when I was a child.

I'm hoping to decide on a book and set a schedule by this weekend. Which book do you think I should choose? How much of a priority do you put on memorizing Scripture? What do you have memorized, and what techniques did you use to do it?

Happy New Year!

Posting late because I was at the Happiest/ Most Expensive Place on Earth (oh, this can be several blog posts on its own) instead of somberly thinking about my life and the passage of time and everything about myself I need to change but won't for one reason or another.

As a student, my major reflection time comes in August before I start a new year of school, but I like opportunities like January 1 to sit down and re-evaluate how I've been doing. Jonathan Edwards' resolutions always provide a nice starting place, so this year, I decided to write out a few questions for myself partially based on them:

Do I seek opportunities to glorify God in my life?
Do I seek opportunities to serve others?
Do I seek those opportunities in the same way that I seek my own profit and pleasure? (Do I realize that, ultimately, they are the same thing?)
Do I follow-through on those opportunities without regard to the cost of time, resources, or my personal comfort?
What would it look like if I did?
After becoming aware of my sin (either by commission or omission), do I automatically repent, or do I "sit on it" and wait awhile first?
Do I make the most of my time?
Do I cherish life and make the most of it, or do I let time pass me by?
When things don't go my way, how do I respond?
How do I respond to difficult people or situations?
Do I have the desire to learn more about God and become closer to Him?
Do I live in such a way that I will not regret what I have or have not done?
Do I live Gospel-centered and pilgrim-minded?
Is my Christian walk deliberate and active?
In what ways can I become more deliberate and active in my relationships with Christ and others?
How do I view Christ? My own sin? Does the way I act or feel align with what I know to be true?
Do I praise, pray, and confess boldly?
Am I faithful to God, the doctrine I profess, and my brothers and sisters?
Do I act as my own person, or as one who has been bought at a price?
And when I realize that I utterly failed last year, will I mourn my sin and be blessed by the comfort of God's grace for past sins and grace for future strength?

Encountering the Divine

I smile at a passerby; by his clothes and demeanor, he must be a merchant. He stares, fingering his money satchel for a brief moment, deliberating, before moving on. The city has been busy lately, and we’ve had a lot of people passing through. Business has been good.

Someone grabs my shoulder; I gasp and spin around. I need to be more careful sometimes. Not that it’s a luxury I can afford. However, instead of a large man with grubby hands, I see Samuel. He’s something of an old friend, if someone like me can have friends. Abashed, he started to stutter out an apology, but I cut him short.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit jumpy. You on your way to the fields?” He’s carrying a young lamb in one hand and his staff in the other. I’m stating the obvious, but it’s the best I can do to diffuse the awkward atmosphere.

“Yeah, I was just heading out. You, um,” his eyes dart around, “You’re going to work, too?” He doesn’t wait for a reply. “Well, uh, be safe, OK?” he nervously adds, as he turns around, waving over his shoulder.

Flustered, I shout after him, “You too,” and more softly, “good night.”

I turn around and continue towards my destination and my partner for the night, Steven. I don’t mind him so much as the others. He was very in love with his wife, and it was years after her passing before he even thought to see us. Only 20 and a few years older than me, he probably could find another wife, but I think the loss was just too great. I delivered the stillborn the night she died. That was back before I switched jobs for the extra income. Now he asks for me when he has the money, and I help him the best I can. He helps me the best he can, too. It’s not unusual for me to come back with a little extra food from his kitchen to share with my daughter.

I go through the alley connecting to the back of his inn. Sneaking around doesn’t suit me, but when I took this job swearing to provide for my little girl, I set my pride aside. He has a respectable business to run, after all.

“I’m sorry, I really am. There really isn’t enough room.” I hear his apologetic voice from around the corner. I stop just before coming into view. From the looks of it, the man he’s speaking to had been traveling for quite some time. I continued watching and didn’t even notice the woman behind him until he started raising his voice in desperation and pointing to her.

“But my wif…my betro….she…she’s pregnant. We need a place to stay. Please. Don’t you have an extra bed? Just give one to her. I can sleep outside or something. Please, just…just…don’t leave her in the cold.”

The man is urgent, and I can see why. His companion is pregnant. She gasps and clutches her rounded belly. I’ve seen that look many times before. That woman is very close to giving birth. Judging by her age and the age of the man with her, they probably don’t know just how close she is.

They continue talking, and then I see the couple turn away, perhaps to try the last few inns down the street. I try to forget the incident, quickly combing my hair, being careful not to let it snag on my gold earrings. I feel sorry for the couple, but I have troubles of my own and mouths to feed. Might as well look presentable.

I come into view just as Steven is about to close the door.

“You heard that, didn’t you?” I nod in assent.

“How long do you think until she gives birth?”

His question surprises me. We hardly make reference to my old life anymore; it brings up old wounds for the both of us. I’m prepared to conclude our business for the night, but clearly he has other concerns on his mind. I answer as best I can.

“Maybe a day at the most. Maybe a few hours. It’s hard to tell without actually touching her.”

“He reminds me of myself,” he whispers, partly to me and partly to no one in particular. “Sorry, give me a sec,” he continues, half-turning to me, and half-turning to run out the door. I’m not sure what he plans to do exactly, but I make myself comfortable inside and wait for him to return.

He finally comes back, but he’s running around and grabbing supplies. “Towels. We need towels. And a basin. And water. Herbs. I don’t know if we have it, but what do you need?” He looks right at me in earnest.

“Wait, what? What’s going on?” After I second, I recognize the tools of my old trade. “No, no, I can’t. I haven’t in ages. That was a long time ago.” The people I work with aren’t exactly happy to give birth. I can’t say that I haven’t bent to their wishes on occasion. “What about Martha?” The town’s midwife would be a much better choice.

“Her husband’s from Bethel, remember? They’re long gone by now.” In my head I curse the census and the Empire. I also wonder if I’m going to get paid tonight.

“Hurry!” Steven shoves a pile of blankets into my arms and pulls me out the door. I have no choice but to follow him, but I realize I don’t know where we’re going. Before I can ask, Steven shouts over his shoulder, “Remember Old Man Zach? I convinced him to lend his stable. Well, I had to pay for it.” With all the rushing and the running, I must have heard him wrong. A stable? Who would give birth in a…

We reach the stable, and sure enough, the couple is inside. The woman’s is screaming in pain. We got there just in time. I take a deep breath to compose myself. I will be this woman’s midwife tonight, whether I like it or not. There’s no other choice. I regain my senses, and my constitution grows stronger. Old habits come back into place.

“Get him out of here!” I snap at Steven, pointing to the woman’s husband. Or was he her betrothed? I can’t quite remember from his conversation with Steven, but I don’t have time to linger on it. I hurriedly spread the blankets on the floor. What a horrid place to deliver a baby. She shrieks again. I remember that I’m not the only person on the planet. No, what a horrid place to give birth.

I start to massage her. “Breathe. Breathe. What’s your name?” I try to calm her down. “I need you to remain calm. Keep breathing for me, OK?”

“Mary,” she replies, between gasps.

“You’re doing great, Mary. My friend’s name is Mary. We call her Magdeline. Mag for short. She’s around your age, too.” I make pointless smalltalk. She nods. Good, the distraction works, at least for awhile. Poor girl, she’s giving birth to her first child, and it has to be like this. Then pain replaces the fear in her eyes.

The next few hours are a blur. Screaming. Breathing. Sweating. And finally, the smell of blood. Mary’s cries cease, and another one pierces the air. “It’s a boy.”

“I know,” she whispers with her eyes closed. She’s at peace.

I hold the baby to clean him off, but as I do, I hear a great shout from far off, maybe from the fields. Or maybe I don’t. My senses are confused, and all I know is that I am afraid. I almost drop him because when I touch the baby, I am filled with a sense of guilt. Who am I to deliver this baby? These hands…I don’t deserve to hold him. I feel so dirty, so shameful. Tears stream down my face, but I don’t know why. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t like this feeling, so I hurry to put the baby in his mother’s arms.

She looks up with a smile. “Joseph, God is with us.” Steven and the man, apparently Joseph, stand at the mouth of the stable. I don’t know how long they have been there. Joseph rushes up to Mary and the baby.

“Thank you,” she says. Still emotional, I reply, “Mary, you have been favored by God.” I don’t know why I said that, but it just felt right. Steven and I take our leave.

Not a word is exchanged between us. I’m still crying, but I try not to show it. “You hear that?” he asks. Footsteps. A lot of them, and coming closer. Who are these people? Their faces come into view, and I pick one out.

“Sam? Sam! What’s going on?” I ask, as he almost rushes past.

“Angels! Shouting! God!” He’s excited and out of breath. Maybe even delusional.

“Slow down. What happened? Why aren’t you in the fields?” It’s Steven’s turn to ask the questions.

Sam then tells us how he and his friends were tending the sheep when they heard a great shout and angels approached them. He describes the brilliance that filled the sky and the fear that filled their hearts. I nod. That must have been what I heard. And the fear? I felt that, too.

But he smiles. “It’s the Messiah. Peace on earth and goodwill to men. That’s what they said. We’re going to see him.” He looks around; the others have already gone ahead. “Well, they’re probably seeing him now. I should go join them. Tell the others!” With that, he runs off to the stable we just left.

The Messiah? Peace? It sounds fantastical. Is that what Mary meant when she said “God is with us?” God is with us in Israel? In Bethlehem? In a stable? I don’t understand any of it, but I allow myself to hope. Maybe that child really will grow up to be the Messiah. Who knows? What I do know, is that the more I ponder the mystery, the more fear gives way to a peace I cannot explain.

We reach the inn. Quietly, we sit down, facing one another. After a few minutes, Steven breaks the silence. “That was really something, huh?” he asks, pensively. He fumbles through his belongings, and takes me by the hand. “I need to tell the patrons about what happened tonight, but don’t you have a little girl to take care of?” I feel the coins he presses into my palm. I hesitate, but he smiles and leaves the room to start down the hall and knock on people’s doors.

“Thank you,” I reply, and I let myself out the front door.

Jargon

I normally do posts like this on Fridays, but I have my last final on Friday. I figured I would use this for Wednesday's post instead.

I went to a Christmas dinner and candlelight service the other day. It was nice. We sang songs, held hands, lit candles, and ate. And something the pastor kept talking about was the "miracle" of Christmas. The "joy" of Christmas. The "peace" of Christmas. He kept saying that these were all supposed to be things for us to think about and appreciate. Oh, he briefly ran through the Gospel in a sentence or two, but left feeling like I wanted more. Why is Christmas a miracle? Why is there joy? Where's the peace? I supposed to reflect on the ________ of Christmas, but what about Christ Himself? Where was he in all of this?

Not a carol, but a hymn

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Most blessèd, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, Thy great Name we praise.

Have you heard this song before? It's the first verse of an old hymn. I'm not sure if I've even sung it at church before, but I used to play this song on the keyboard when I was part of Bible Study Felowship's children's program. I was trying to explain the incarnation to a friend of mine, and this song came to mind. What it describes is basically everything that baby Jesus didn't have.

Immortal? Jesus was born to die on a cross.
Invisible? The Spirit God took on human flesh.
Wise? Not only did Christ take on human flesh, he started off as a baby. He drooled and spat and had to be cleaned up after. He babbled, like any baby does, trying to grasp the right phonemes that corresponded to Aramaic.
Inaccessible? Jesus was born in a stable, where shepherds and fieldhands rushed to greet him.
Almighty and victorious? Oh, He will be. But not until thirty-three years later after he had led the country, come back, was threatened with stoning, was beaten, mocked, and killed. His almighty and victorious rise from the dead, and later his ascension, would not be for a very long time to come.

Scandal

It's been said that the most scandalous point of human history was the day that Jesus was killed. I don't dispute this, but I think the second most scandalous point was the day of his birth. That's where the miracle lies. Not that a baby can be born of a virgin. That's nothing to God. It's the thought that Christ would come to earth at all that floors me. That's where the miracle is. The joy. The peace.

May you truly appreciate the miracle of Christmas, be filled with joy and peace, and that you will not only embrace the jargon of Christmas but you will have an encounter with Christ Himself.

Gluttony and Consumerism: A Warning

James 5:1-6 "A Warning to the Rich"

¹Come now,^(A) you rich, weep and howl for the^(B) miseries that are coming upon you. ²^(C) Your riches have rotted and your garments are moth-eaten. ³Your gold and silver have corroded, and their corrosion will be evidence against you and will eat your flesh like fire.^(D) You have laid up treasure^(E) in the last days. ⁴Behold,^(F) the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and^(G) the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of^(H) the Lord of hosts. ⁵^(I) You have lived on the earth in luxury and^(J) in self-indulgence. You have fattened your hearts in^(K) a day of slaughter. ⁶You have condemned and^(L) murdered^(M) the righteous person. He does not resist you.

I came across this in my reading today (Tuesday) and found it really sobering in light of the Thanksgiving/ Black Friday holidays. (And, yes, it seems that Black Friday has become a "holiday" of its own.) I have nothing to say at this time about American society or culture at large, but here are some personal reflections I think would be helpful as we enter the holiday season.

1) Everything I have is God's.
2) Everything I receive is God's.
3) There is no merit in me to deserve anything I have or anything I receive.
4) Gold and silver will corrode. The moth will destroy, the thief will steal, and the fire will consume.
5) Slavery, fraud, and coercion still exist. There are more slaves today than when the Atlantic slave trade was active. The laborer cries out for his wages, which have been held back.
6) Have I been living to indulge myself? To fatten my heart as others cry out to God?
7) Do I value righteousness over personal comfort?
8) What steps do I need to take to defend the widow, the orphan, and the oppressed and to live righteously?

What other personal reflections do you think we should add to this list?

Tetris, Parables, and Missions

I play a lot of Tetris (which explains my Tetris related posts that pop up from time to time. The site I play on provides a weekly mission that you can complete for points, such as "perform X back-to-back combos" or "beat Y opponents in a multiplayer game." This week's mission was to perform 15 Tetrises in a single game.

15 Tetrises. That's manageable. I started the game and set up my Terminos (the little block things). 1 Tetris. 2 Tetrises...3...4...

The first few were easy enough, but as I racked up points, the game sped up. I couldn't solely perform Tetrises, so I cleared a few single lines here and there, with the occasional double, and kept making Tetrises when I could.

Before I knew it, I completely lost track of how many Tetrises I had performed.

The game sped up so fast, that I stopped trying to make Tetrises altogether. I was just frantically trying my best to simply not "die."

After awhile of proceeding like this, a few thoughts came to me:
1) Why am I playing this game? (I normally play a multiplayer game instead of a single player game)
Oh yeah, I'm doing this week's mission.

2) What was the mission?
..................Oh wow. I don't even remember. But I had better keep clearing these lines or else I'm going to die. What was that mission? Oh yeah...I think I was supposed to perform Tetrises.

3) Well the game's going way too fast to set up the board now. How many Tetrises did you make already?
I have no clue. I guess I'll just have to wait until I die to find out.

It turned out that I did meet the requirement for Tetrises, but you probably don't care about that. That's not the point of this story.

The point is that I had a mission (literally), and I started to complete it but then I got busy. Things became really fast-paced, and I was just trying to survive. And in the midst of the hustle and bustle, I completely forgot what the mission was. Completely. And at the end, I wasn't even sure if I accomplished what I was supposed to do; I had to wait in suspense to see if the computer would tell me "well done, good and awesome Tetris person."

I'm laying it on a bit thick here, but only because I think it's important. What is our mission here on Earth? To love God with our hearts, souls, and strength. To love others as ourselves. To defend the widow and the orphan. To proclaim the Gospel to Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the world. To pick up our crosses daily. To abide in Jesus as He abides in us. To put off the old man and put on the new. To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before God.

Friends, this is a lot more than performing 15 Tetrises. For starters, these missions are never actually "complete." And on top of these, we also each have our own missions. There are good works that have been set out in advance for us to do.

----------------------

So pause for a bit and think about what your mission is. Have you forgotten it? Have you been making every effort to pursue it? Or has life gotten too fast-paced with Terminos piling up all around you?

And regardless of how you answer those questions, whether positively or negatively, remember this: praise to Jesus Christ who gives us the victory.

The three people I never want(ed) to be

Preface: For the purposes of this post, I’m working within a framework where the issues at hand are ones of preference, not major doctrines or sin issues.

There are three people I never want(ed) to be:

1) The person who disagrees with the small group leader on almost everything.
2) The person who feels that they’re not getting much out of church services and meetings.
3) The person who becomes bitter and 1) stays, badmouthing the church and creating division in the local church or 2) leaves, and badmouths the first church at the next church and creating division in the global church.

You can’t really help being the first two if it happens. You might agree with the doctrine of a church, but you might not agree with the doctrine, emphases, or practices of your small group leader. The probability of this becomes higher as the church’s standards for leaders or number of people available to be leaders become lower. You also sometimes can’t help it if you aren’t getting much out of services and meetings. (Of course, one needs to be careful here. Sometimes our own pride and our sin get in the way of what the Spirit wants us to hear.) But if a certain style or philosophy of preaching or small group meetings isn’t to one’s taste or expectation, even someone attending with a good faith effort to learn and glean from the messages and fellowship may be left with not much to work with.

However, you can help not becoming the third person. It’s really easy to become the third person after becoming the first two, but don’t. Seriously. Just don’t do it.

If you become one of the first two people, you might want to seriously consider quietly switching churches. Or, as with my case, you might sincerely and inexplicably feel you're supposed to stay with a particular church despite realizing you’ve become one of the first two people (or both). In that case, you should listen to the prompting of the Spirit. But whether you stay or whether you go, bitterness and impatience and badmouthing has no place in the heart of a Christian, and it definitely has no place in the church.

Things essential to keep in mind:

1) The church doesn’t exist to cater to your individual needs and expectations. The church exists to glorify God.
2) The church is full of sinners. Don't expect people to rise to your definition of perfection.
3) You’re a sinner, too. Shocker.
4) Not everyone approaches Christianity with the same presuppositions about Christian living. Differences in approach are not always wrong or bad. Be Bible-based and open-minded.
5) Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but consider others better than yourselves.
6) You exist (among other things) to serve the people in your local church. If you think you're so high and mighty and better than your current church (which you aren't...see #5), then go and serve others using your "superior" experience and knowledge.
7) Jesus is really, really, really patient with you. Any amount of patience that the aforementioned service calls for is a peppercorn compared to that.

As I said before, I love my new church and I love the people at my new church. I have been given the opportunity to fellowship with a lovely group of women who love the Lord. It's just that we don't always agree or approach the Bible or Christian living in the same way. This list contains things I need to remind myself of, but I don't think it's limited to people who are in my position. Really, this is a very small list about Christian living in the church in general.

Have your views ever conflicted with church leadership? How did you handle the difference(s) between you? How do you feel about your current church? What about the local church do you need to remind yourself about?

Knowing and Being Known

Having recently moved, I've been working to form new friendships with my new acquaintances. Within the church, this means becoming friends with people who are already my sisters. One thing I've found awkward in the small group setting is that the intimacy shared may not be proportional to the intimacy of your actual relationship with the other person. We are sisters, but we are strangers. As sisters, we share about our hurts, habits, and hangups as we go through a curriculum, but we've also only known each other for a few weeks, seeing each other briefly on Sunday morning and having meetings on Wednesday night. Of course, the only way around this is to meet up outside of these times. Go out for coffee or lunch and just chat. To actually get to know one another and to be known by one another.

I think it's the same way with God. He's our Father, Savior, and Friend...but sometimes he might also be a stranger to us. None of this is his fault, but rather we hold back our lives or parts of our lives from him. And then we turn around and tell him about our hurts, habits, and hangups every so often. Some realize this disproportionality and simply stop communicating with God across the board, rationalizing that "He doesn't care about my small problems anyway." But my encouragement is to continue to go to God more. He has stood at the door of your heart and knocked, and you have allowed him to come in. He's already inside -- he already "abides" -- in the house of your soul. He extends his arm toward you as the vine, if only you as the branch would abide in you as well.

Meet him more often than Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. Know Him and be known by Him.