God is Missing
The reason why the blogging schedule has been a bit wonky lately is because I've been a bit wonky lately. It seems like there has simply been too much jostling for my attention. This excerpt from a Levertov poem comes to mind
However, it's not that I've been ignoring God entirely. It's been much more subtle than that. I'll ask myself: how can I glorify God in law school? Answer: Study to the best of my ability. Or how can I glorify God in my relationships? Answer: Get to know the people around me, love, and serve them. And then I try to do these things, but inevitably I'll fail because doing everything to the best of your ability, while admirable, is also tiring. And when you're tired, it's hard to love and serve others. And when you fail at stuff, you don't feel very good about it.
However, though I wanted to glorify God in my actions, do you realize what is missing? God. I've been wanting to do these things for God instead of with God. I tried to do everything using my own power and didn't get very far. My cup ran dry, but I didn't go to the one who overflows it in the midst of my enemies and my "courtiers" alike.
This is a very basic Christian-living concept. But isn't it the basics that are the easiest to ignore? Have you been doing things for God or with Him this past week?
Problems insoluble and problems offering
their own ignored solutions
jostle for my attention, they crowd its antechamber
along with a host of diversions, my courtiers, wearing
their colored clothes; cap and bells.
However, it's not that I've been ignoring God entirely. It's been much more subtle than that. I'll ask myself: how can I glorify God in law school? Answer: Study to the best of my ability. Or how can I glorify God in my relationships? Answer: Get to know the people around me, love, and serve them. And then I try to do these things, but inevitably I'll fail because doing everything to the best of your ability, while admirable, is also tiring. And when you're tired, it's hard to love and serve others. And when you fail at stuff, you don't feel very good about it.
However, though I wanted to glorify God in my actions, do you realize what is missing? God. I've been wanting to do these things for God instead of with God. I tried to do everything using my own power and didn't get very far. My cup ran dry, but I didn't go to the one who overflows it in the midst of my enemies and my "courtiers" alike.
This is a very basic Christian-living concept. But isn't it the basics that are the easiest to ignore? Have you been doing things for God or with Him this past week?
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